This Old Man - Day 3

How many pokes does it take to start an IV? This older man sitting next to me got poked 3 times before the nurse could start a line. Poor guy was so scared of the needle. His nurse had to be aggressive. In the middle of giving instructions, he interrupted the nurse, which got the nurse a little mad. "Let me finish," she said. Yes, I was eavesdropping. The whole thing made me laugh. He is what we call a "difficult patient." Very picky, giving the nurses a hard time about everything. I was laughing because I used to be that guy. I used to get so mad at my nurses when they have to poke me more than once. They were kind of intimidated because they know I work in the health field and I know how things should be done. I'm sure my Kaiser nurses are happy to have a break from me. I don't blame them.

So it's Day 3 of Chemo and all I have to say about it is it gives me this weird stomach ache. It comes and goes throughout the day. The nurse premedicates me with Zofran to prevent nausea. Other than that, I don't really feel anything else. That's all for now.

Day 2

I waited 1 hour and 47 minutes in the lobby. Luckily, I got my iPad so it wasn't that bad. I'm currently reading "The Particular Sadness of Lemon Cake" by Aimee Bender. It's a good read, so far. The narrator is a third grader named Rose. I digress.

Last night, I kept tossing and turning in bed. I couldn't sleep because I kept thinking about the catheter lying just above my heart, in the superior vena cava, to be exact. Every time I turned to my left side, I felt my heart fluttering. Almost as if the tip of the PICC line is tickling my heart. I had nightmares about it the entire evening. I thought I was going to have a heart attack. Maybe it's all psychological, it's all in my head. Well, I hope this feeling goes away.

The nurse took my vital signs. My blood pressure was 84/45. I told her my diastolic is usually in the 90s, my systolic 60s. She worried a little, but I told her that I was feeling dizzy because I was hungry. Now here I am, sitting in the same room I was in yesterday. This time, a different chair. Blogging while waiting for my Turkey sandwich that the nurse ordered for me. I'm so hungry, I can already taste the tender meat and the crispy lettuce. Oh great! Here's my lunch. Perfect timing, I shall blog again tomorrow.

First Day of Chemo

Good morning! I'm blogging from the Infusion Department at City of Hope. This is it! Today I will have my first ever Chemotherapy. I'm receiving Fludarabine (floo DARE a been) via IV. This medicine is used as therapy in preparation for bone marrow transplant. Not sure exactly how it will make me feel, but I'll let you all know tomorrow. That's all for now.

Little Girl, Full of Hope

I had a PICC line inserted at City of Hope yesterday morning. Unfortunately, I had to come back around 6:30 pm because the dressing was soaked with blood. What I thought would be a 2-minute dressing change ended up being a 6-hour ordeal. The doctor ordered a unit of platelet because I was actively bleeding from the PICC site and I also received two units of packed RBC. My CBC result came back with a Hgb of 7.4 - no wonder I was feeling crappy.

I was waiting for my nurse in room 5 when I saw the little girl being pushed in a stroller by her Grandma. She was maybe 4-6 years old. She had a pink blanket, her nose and mouth covered with a mask. I knew it was her when I saw her green eyes. I first saw her in the Pediatric Department on the 3rd floor. She was wearing a purple and white striped shirt, purple vest, light green, ruffled skirt, purple flip-flops and a purple headband to match. She was bald, but I could tell she used to have blonde hair like her mother. She was very beautiful even without hair. She only spoke Russian, her mom had to translate everything the nurse said. The little girl kept looking at me while my nurse was starting my IV. Our eyes met and I could tell she felt my pain. "You're a brave little girl and very beautiful," I told her. She didn't need a translator. I'm sure she knows exactly what brave and beautiful mean, and I'm sure I wasn't the first person to tell her that. I never got her name, I just know what she looks like. When I saw her again last night, I was sad because I knew she was there for hydration. At the same time, I was very happy to see her. To me, she is a friend... a special one.

My New Hair Do

I found a store in Pomona called "Crown's Wig." The store owner is this really nice Asian lady. Her store has been open for 20 years. Because I'm undergoing Chemotherapy next week, I figured I'd buy my wig today. The lady helped me pick out a wig and turban and showed me how to put them on and how to care for it. When she found out from Raul why I needed a wig, she was in disbelief. "But you're so young," she said. She felt bad for me but I assure her that I will be fine. Everything rang up to around $250. I've lost track of my medical expenses but I'm sure my husband hasn't. After all, he is a Financial Advisor. The trips to the ED, the hospital admissions and doctors appointment - it's quite a lot when you add them up. But God is good all the time. And all the time, He is good.

From my BlackBerry

There really is no reason for me to not be able to blog. Thanks to technology, I can blog from my iPad, phone, laptop or desktop. I guess you can say that the only excuse I have is I'm tired. Being anemic is no joke! People always tell me to eat more green, leafy vegetables and eat liver and don't forget to take iron pills. However, the kind of anemia I have is not due to low levels of iron. As a matter of fact, my iron level is way too high that I need to take a medication called "Exjade" to get rid of it. Although I stopped taking it because I started getting these weird bubbles under the skin of my palms. There's always something, I swear. All I want is to have my energy back. I want to be able to do the things I used to do, without being short of breath. I want to be able to take care of Danica. I love her sooooo much!

1st Year Wedding Anniversary

Happy Anniversary to my dear husband and best friend! You are my favorite person in the world. I love you so much!!! Thank you for the gifts and card =)